It annoys me a little bit when I read a story or a novel with a child character who is either dumb or acts way to old or way too young for their age. Kids can be a great addition to a story, to bring emotion, to bring humor, or just a touch of innocence. Here are a few examples of stories and quotes from my kids that have made it onto my Facebook page.
Writers: Consider how small children (mine are both under 5) can be clever and funny and even manipulative. They take things very literally and find joy in simple things.
Everyone else: Enjoy. My kids are hilarious.
NOTE: For all of you who know my kids: I’ve chosen not to use their names. This blog is not just for family and friends, so my husband and I feel it’s necessary to keep their names from floating around on the open and free internet. We will refer to our daughter as Girly Girl (GG) and our son Little Man (LM). Remember this in your comments!
On the way to my parents, Girly Girl asked me if she could go camping, and I told her she might not like it because she would have to sleep outside and pee behind a tree and there would be bugs. Fast forward to my niece’s first birthday party. I go to look for her as we are about to do cake and sing. Suddenly I hear people say, “what is that little girl doing without her clothes on behind that tree?” yep. That’s right. GG sat down butt naked behind a tree in the middle of the party and peed. And when we asked her why she said, “well mom, you SAID that sometimes you just have to pee behind a tree!”
Hubby: I guess I can’t get popcorn at the movies tonight.
GG: Why not?
Hubby: We don’t have the extra money.
GG: Well, you can just make it. We can get some paper and plastic and we’ll decorate it and then you can get popcorn!
Hubby: Do you think I could buy popcorn with that?
We met Daddy for lunch today at Hy-Vee. We pulled up and parked and Girly Girl asked what the sign in the window on the second floor said.
Me: That says, ‘Go Tigers’
GG: There are TIGERS here? Mom, tigers don’t live here.
Me: No, that’s not what it means. The Tigers are a sports team.
GG: You mean like at the gym?
Me: Not exactly. They play basketball or football or something (haha-shows how much Mommy knows).
GG: So do they all wear tiger costumes?
GG: I don’t get it.
Girly Girl: I want to collect rocks- a rock collection with sticks and old tires.
Girly Girl has been talking a lot about who she is going to marry and wanting to know who it’s going to be and taking guesses. It’s been pretty funny, but this was the best marriage conversation with my now four year old girl.
GG: Mommy, when you and Daddy and Little Man die I can get married. But not until then.
Me: We don’t have to die for you to get married.
GG: Yes, you do. You all have to die.
Me: No. We don’t. Why do you think that you can’t get married until we die?
GG: Well…what would guys do all the time without ME???
Girly Girl was building with her blocks.
Me: Oh, I love your house, GG!
GG: Mom. This is not a house. This is a temple where the golden water can’t get through.
Hubby: Of course that’s what is, Mommy. Are you blind?
Little Man: Um, I’m just building a house.
GG: Mommy, do you love me?
Me: Of course I do!
GG: Will you say it? Say, GG I love you!
Me: GG, I love you SO much!
GG: I want one of these jelly beans.
Me: No, not right now, hon.
GG: But we love each other!
Me: No jelly beans.
GG: Grrrahh! (stomps her foot and goes away)
Girly Girl playing with a sleeping beauty figurine and a power ranger:
SB: daddy I love him!
PR: you can’t marry him! He isn’t the kind of guy you can marry!
SB: I love you Dad, but I also love him! He’s a good guy to marry! He killed a dragon.
PR: he did?
PR: okay, you can marry him.
Me: GG, do you need to go to the potty?
GG: No. My pee is sleeping for the winter time.
GG: look at the pretty butterfly!
Me: that’s a moth. They are different than butterflies.
Me: well, like they are out at night and sometimes moths eat clothes!
GG: they eat clothes! Oh no! That would be bad because then people would see our hips!
GG: Magic means…ummmm…magic means I’m Spanish. Yeah. (I think this one has something to do with Dora the Explorer.)