About Me and How I Don’t Have It All Together

Since beginning this blog, I’ve had several people say things to me like: “Wow, you should be so proud of yourself!” or “How do you do all of that?” I never thought I would be in a place where other people would look at me and think I have it together. Why? Because the truth is I don’t.

My blog is entitled Not So Easy, Breezy because life is hard, and the only way I get by is by the grace of God. I do have a lot going on these days: going back to college at Liberty Online, homeschooling my kids, writing and writing groups, family stuff, church stuff, and trying to be healthy. But hear this: Just because I have a lot to do, doesn’t mean I have it together. Quantity lessens quality. 

What do I mean by that? Quantity lessens quality? No one can have it all and do it all well. I have to be constantly praying for God to help me prioritize and re-prioritize, over and over again. I have to decide what suffers: my schoolwork or time with my kids, laundry and housework or schoolwork, studying for a quiz or keeping that date with my husband, getting some progress on my novel or church activities, my blog or my kid’s homeschooling.

For instance, I needed to get some reading done in my psychology book, but our family had a church thing to go to. I had been busy, really busy, and my husband recognized that our family needed some time together and that being with our church family would be good for us. I told him I didn’t want to go; I needed to read. He was upset. My priorities were off, and he confronted me about it. I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit; I knew my husband was right. I ended up going, our family had some great bonding time, and we all benefitted from being with our church family. I still got my reading done, and everything was fine.

Another example: I had been working all day; it was nine in the evening. I was exhausted, but the laundry was piling up and I felt the need to keep working. My husband stopped me. Again, he recognized that I needed sleep more than I needed to do laundry.  The laundry is something that will probably continue to suffer throughout this busy period, as will a lot of household chores. I have to be okay with that if I want to pursue schooling and writing.

I could go on and on, example after example. I am constantly in need and praying for patience, wisdom, grace, humbleness, realistic goals, and motivation. My house is a mess. I yell at my kids. I mess up my priorities. I freak out and stress out. My grades aren’t perfect. I do not have it together! 

But Jesus Christ does, and the Holy Spirit is with me. He offers me increased patience and wisdom. He gives me grace and forgiveness. He makes me humble enough to set realistic goals. He gives me that extra motivation. He does it through my kids, my husband, my church family and through His Word and when I’m in prayer.

So, all of you overwhelmed people who get on these blogs and read articles and how-tos and see all of your friends doing all of these things on facebook, all you who feel like you aren’t enough, like you aren’t doing enough, please, please stop and realize that these blogs and articles and how-tos and facebook posts- they are the highlights of other people’s lives. They do not represent who they are or how well they are doing.

It is good and healthy and beneficial to pursue the betterment of yourself, to seek an increased capacity, to set goals, but only if you do it with wisdom from God. A year or two ago, I would have fallen apart just thinking about going back to school. Six months ago the thought of homeschooling sent me into a panic (literally, I had a panic attack while thinking about homeschooling). There is a time and a place for everything. Wait until you are ready. Take advice from the people around you about how much you can handle. Spend lots of time in prayer before taking on something new in your life. And most of all: be content in the present. Be content with where you are and what you can handle today.

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